So you’ve nursed your baby to sleep in the evening (Gasp! Horror!). You’re sat or laying in bed, baby fast asleep but firmly latched on. Next step is to get baby, still sleeping, into their designated place of night time sleeping, allowing you to turn the baby monitor on and trot off down stairs for a glass of something cold and an episode of Strictly. Or, in my case, a cup of tea and Castle. Or Bake Off. I’m not fussy!
There are a number of techniques employed by nursing mothers to achieve this desired outcome, which one is for you?
1. The Indiana Jones.
This one is for dummy-users only. You gently, gently (but oh so quickly) unlatch baby and immediately replace boob with dummy, before the child wakes and launches a giant boulder at you.
2. Patience of a Saint
You simply wait. And wait. Soon enough this baby is going to be so deeply asleep that they will simply let go of the boob and snuggle down in their cot. Right? Right?!
3. The Ninja.
With utmost skill, dexterity and timing you are able to pop your finger into the corner of baby’s mouth and unlatch them, whilst simultaneously transferring into their crib with a motion so smooth and silent they won’t feel a thing!
4. The Lucky One.
You’ve lucked out and have a baby who is unphased by being removed from the boob and put into bed. They might stir, or wake fully, but they just grab their teddy and snuggle down again. Any ‘expert’ who recommends putting baby to sleep when they’re drowsy, and never letting them nurse to sleep, had a baby like this. Bitch.
5. The Lazy One.
You co sleep, not because of some smug holier-than-thou attitude about baby’s secure emotional development, but because goddamit you like your sleep. This way, you can just plug baby onto the boob and you both fall asleep. You’ll probably wake up at 10.40 pm with your smart phone on your face and baby still latched on, and realise you’ve forgotten to have dinner. Oh what the heck, you’re in bed so you may as well stay there and get some kip.
mamathegeek 