Potty training M has been pretty straight forward. She seemed ready, so we started going nappy-free at home sometimes. She was at first very responsive to stickers as a reward for using the potty and would want to sit again and again and again to get a sticker (which we indulged – no harm in reinforcing the positive association!). I know some people argue against using material rewards as it defines ‘good’ behaviour, and therefore ‘bad’ behaviour too. I.e. using the potty is ‘good’, therefore not using the potty is ‘bad’. But whatever. M responded great to all the praise and encouragement we could heap on her, and within a couple of weeks so was nappy-free all day with very few accidents.
We started off going into potty training a little bit blindfolded with our hands out in front, feeling and grabbing and figuring out what the heck it was all about as we went. At first we encouraged M to use the potty as much as possible; every 30-60 minutes. I discovered 45 minutes was perfect, and 120 minutes was usually too long. Nursery, however, were toiletting her every 30 minutes and found she was getting resistant to this. While the novelty and rewards were great encouragement at first, she soon got frustrated with being asked to use the potty so frequently, often when she didn’t need to go at all! Of course she would be in the middle of something very important, like colouring in or building a tower out of Lego with her friends. No way did she want to stop playing to use the toilet!
So we stopped pushing, and just let M ask. I would offer occasionally, such as when we were about to leave the house, but most of the time I let M choose when to use the potty. There were a few accidents at first as she forgot she needed to go, but once she’d figured out she was now responsible for the task she was once more totally dry all day. Maybe once a fortnight we’d get an accident, and that was always at nursery where she’s playing pretty much all day and just forgets to ask, or where staff can’t get her to the toilet that instant because they’re dealing with another child.
So that’s where we are now. Dry, but using nappies for sleep. But we have reached a sticking point, because of two things: M is perfectly happy to use a nappy for wees, and hasn’t made any progress with poos for weeks now. There are days when she will not do a single wee on the potty or toilet; she will wake up, remove her nappy, stay dry all morning until she gets her naptime nappy on, wee in that (in her sleep usually), stay dry all afternoon, then wee in the bath or in her nighttime nappy (again in her sleep). She will sometimes not want to remove her nappy after sleep as well – just saying “no thanks!” when you offer to help remove it. She also wees in her sleep nappy as a staling tactic to not going to bed or nap. Occasionally she does this twice.
She hardly ever manages a poo on the potty or toilet. It’s almost always in her nappy after she wakes from nap. I’m not sure how much of this is physical development and how much of it is psychological. She seems keen to do it, because she knows there’s a good reward waiting (a Moshi Monster in a packet), but just doesn’t manage it. Sometimes I can sense she needs to go (usually she’ll ask to use the toilet a few times in a short period) and maybe after the third time she’ll manage it; clearly, then, she’s still learning her body’s signals. But other times she happily holds onto it until she wakes from her nap (and I know she’s awake to do it because I’ve seen it).
It’s kind of frustrating, but all I can do is remain casual about it. Continue to clean poo up. Continue to put giant wet nappies in the nappy bucket along with E’s tiny ones. I hope she gets the hang of it soon. I KNOW she’s capable of staying dry for a nap if not night, I know she’s only 3, but we’ve made no progress now for months and months. Maybe settling into Tiggies at nursery will help…
mamathegeek 